For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:11)
It’s about that time of year – time to begin making our travel plans for the upcoming holidays. We communicate with siblings and parents and extended family to see if we can all arrange our schedules to be in the same place at the same time. We’re booking flights or clearing calendars, writing emails or texts, and checking and rechecking with all the parties involved to be together.
Today is my dad’s eighty-ninth birthday. My sister, Carla, and I started making plans for this day when we were together in June, and it has been a regular part of our conversations since then. All four of Dad’s children will be here along with three spouses. None of the grandchildren can make it this time, but I’m thrilled that the adult kids will all be together for a couple of hours.
Although Dad doesn’t like to be fussed over, I’m glad we’ll all have this time to pay lots of attention to him. Mom gets most of the attention around here usually simply because she needs the extra support and care. Dad is supplying that extra support and care (along with other caregivers), but he doesn’t ever get that pampering from others.
Three years ago, Dad fell off the roof and broke himself up quite a bit. I had just begun writing Mondays with Mom (new chapter, Daddy) so I talked about it a bit in this article. I also wrote about him here. Dad’s a private guy and very independent which is why I’ve written so little about him. There’s so much to say about this fine man, but these articles are mainly about Mom; I have to sneak in bits and pieces of him here and there.
Today is his day, however, so I can talk about him a bit more. My dad is a planner and likes to be prepared. This season in his life defies carrying out many plans – we never know from one day to the next what Mom will want or need. His personal schedule is planned as much as possible: breakfast with his best buddy, Doug, a visit to a friend who’s sick or injured, or a fishing trip with one of my brothers. He likes the structure of a schedule, and as much as it is up to him, he’ll follow it.
When I was younger, Dad liked to plan trips. He liked making plans for future activities. There was satisfaction in getting the details worked out and packing the car just right. I do know plans can get thwarted and know of a few times when that happened for him. Sometimes he adjusted easily, but most of the time those adjustments took a long time.
I see Dad’s life through the lens of my own perspective. In many ways, I am just like him so I understand his frustration when his plans didn’t work out. There was no way to plan or prepare for the way this disease has taken over Mom’s mind and the way her body has failed. Through it all, I have seen Dad grow and learn. I have been amazed by him. Dad has always been a godly man, but I watched as he has become more flexible, gentle, and patient. He fully trusts in God’s plan for the future.
My plans will not always come through. I, too, have been thwarted by people or circumstances that have ruined my plans. I return again and again to the verse in Jeremiah I wrote at the beginning of this article. I memorized it in the King James’ version during Bible Drill as a teenager, but I recently reread it in other versions. My favorite is The Message:
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Dad gets it. Here’s hoping that I’ll get it by the time I’m eighty-nine, too.
