Since Mom’s fall in May, we have been waiting and praying for the bone to heal.
We are going back for x-rays this week to see if the ultrasonic therapy that we’ve been using faithfully for 85 days has helped. This prescribed treatment has an excellent success rate. Every day at 1:00 we apply the gel, connect the machine, and pray for it to work.
We are on the seventh month of assisting Mom with all of her daily activities; eating, toileting, bathing, even arranging her covers is up to her caregivers. Most of the time Mom is okay with the attention as doesn’t mind being fed or helped to stand. However, sometimes the activity is more than she wants and we have a few problems. Without invading her privacy or Dad’s, I just want to share my perspective on medicine at this point of caregiving.
We’ve been helping Mom bathe for several years now. One very common facet of dementia is an aversion to bathing. she has become quite combative to the point of needed to calm her down with medicine before we can bathe her. Unfortunately, one of the side effects of that medicine is that she also sleeps a great deal. She’s also not coherent for several hours so it’s very difficult to know what to do. Should we have an hour of great stress or several hours of “out of it”?
None of the medicine currently available for her assists with her memory. It’s so difficult to have her slip further away from reality even if we know that she’ll come back in a few hours. I am grateful we have the option of lowering the dose, but even that has a remarkable effect on her since she is so sensitive to medication.
I’m sure other caregivers struggle with this same issue. As we’re struggling for what is best for those we love, we’re also trying to care for our own physical and mental health. Dad is in excellent health because he has always been very diligent –running, walking, interval training, push-ups, riding his bike! Even this week he has decided to buy a treadmill so he can alternate his bike riding with walking indoors now that the weather has turned cooler. Physically, he’s more fit than most anyone I know.
Proverbs 17:22: A merry heart does good like medicine
I am nowhere near that physically fit. I am strong and I do try to stay busy and not sedentary. However, for both of us, it’s not our physical health that I think about; it’s our emotional health. While Dad won’t consider pharmaceutical assistance, I have long believed in what I call my “happy pills”. With the stress of teenagers and balancing other responsibilities, I have been on them for several years. I know there is a certain stigma associated with taking them, but I have become an advocate. They take away the “highs” – the laugh-out-loud, giggle until your sides hurt – and I do miss that. They curb the lows – no more crying to sleep and so depressed that I can’t get out of bed – but those feelings aren’t missed one bit. Tears don’t come as readily and I’m grateful. While I still haven’t turned into a morning person, I can be nice before 9:30 AM and blinding fits of anger are rare. Everyone around me appreciates that!
Some days I think medication can be a crutch. Then I wonder if any of us are as strong and stoic as we think we should be to weather this difficult stage of life. God is truly my strength and upon Him I place my trust. He gave folks somewhere the brilliance to develop drugs to assist with mental health. If it were a physical ailment that could be assisted by a medicine, I wouldn’t hesitate to take it. Why do we have such a bias against drugs that help the mind?
Until the emotionally wringing times are past, I’ll continue to take my “happy pills” medicine. As long as the medication assists Mom more than it harms her, I’ll encourage Dad to stay the current course for her, too.
Proverbs 17:22: A merry heart does good like medicine.
