Estate is an old word that most of us don’t use very often. It conjures up images of castles and land. Actually, we all have an estate – the assets we own when we die. I helped a friend with her family’s estate sale over the weekend, and let me tell you, if you haven’t had to do this, it’s a toughie. I’ve had many yard or garage sales over the years and each time it was simply to make room in an already cluttered life.
This time was much different.
My friend’s mother-in-law, Nanny, passed last year, leaving behind a life well-lived and well-enjoyed. Nanny had been a caregiver for most of the second part of her life, dedicating her life to care for her mother and husband. However, the last few years of her life, Nanny had been the one to be cared for. Thankfully, her boys, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren were nearby to assist as needed. Her departure left a huge hole in their hearts and it took a while to sort through all the necessary emotions associated with losing someone much loved.
This weekend was the time for handling her house and worldly possessions. The house had a contract in three days; the contents of the house took a little longer. As an “outsider,” I was able to help with pricing and arranging with no emotional ties to the items. (I also spend too much time at yard sales so I had a good idea of how to price to sell.) It wasn’t nearly so easy for the family.
Nanny’s dinner table, full of so many precious memories, was reduced to a price too low for its emotional worth. This was the table Nanny had scrimped and saved for and finally bought. Thankfully, it was sold to a friend and their family will make sweet memories around it.
Although it may seem like “things” to another person, the family had memories associated with Nanny’s recliner, her desk, and her bed. Possessions tell stories, like the turkey soup tureen that Nanny bought with the money she’d been given to buy a crib! The story passed along to the new owner of the tureen. Nanny loved glassware and dishes and setting a beautiful table. Each sale took away another of Nanny’s possessions.
Of course, the family had gone through and collected the different pieces they wanted to keep. Some pieces were even staying behind in the house for the new owners. For two days, however, bits of Nanny went home with the different customers. We all knew things didn’t contain her; nevertheless, the estate was diminishing and it was a struggle.
Estate is such a funny word in times like these. Nanny didn’t own a manor house with acres of land in the country. Thankfully, there were no cattle or horses to care for, no butler or groundskeeper to see appointed to different positions. Instead, there was a simple, well-cared-for house and nice things to pass on to family, and through the estate sale this weekend, many other folks.
One shopper summed it up this way: “I can tell that a woman with a kind heart lived here. I can tell by her things that she was a beautiful woman who appreciated life. Anyone who knew her was really lucky to have known her.”
Yes, she was and yes, she did. And yes, we were.
