For many years Mom used to visit shut-ins and those friends who lived in the nursing homes. When I was a teenager, she would go with Juette Hill to visit those were sick or needed help. Together with Anita Roper, Louise Hallford, and other women from her Sunday school department, she helped with a Bible Study every Thursday morning at the nursing home. She was the music leader and would pass out the hymnals and lead the hymns. When my kids were little, they were often invited to come sing or play the piano. I have so many pictures from that time.
Mom was strong and healthy then. Sometimes Dad would join us afterwards, and we’d drive to Toccoa or Clayton for lunch. After dropping us at home, they would go visit other friends who couldn’t get out as much. I don’t know how they kept up with everyone’s needs, but the women of the church were diligent in taking casseroles or sending cards for birthdays, anniversaries, and illness. I wonder if anyone still does that.
With the easy availability of social media, I do most of my contacting through Facebook or emails. I rarely send a card through the mail except at Christmas or an occasional wedding congratulations. Most of my “visits” are by text or Facebook Messenger. I’m not on Instagram or Twitter because I think I already spend too much time on electronic communication.
Between my 49th and 50th birthdays, I had a list of achievements I wanted to do. I had no trouble with trying 50 new things (foods or experiences) and doing 50 arts and crafts projects. If magazines and periodicals count, I easily read 50 of them. I failed at reconnecting to friends with 50 visits.
I thought the reconnecting would be easy. Only 50 visits in one year meant less than one a week. Of course, I tried to meet and eat – lunch would be simple, right? Surely I could manage at least a short visit over coffee once a week. Nope. We’re too busy. Often a date would be set but something – a sick child, another appointment – would derail the plans. We’d say, “Let’s try again next week,” but often an alternate date wouldn’t be set.
Even with all that he has going on, Dad makes time for visits. He has his weekly breakfast date with his dear buddy, Doug. He recently took on managing trips to rehab for another friend. He didn’t have any trouble finding others who wanted to help with the chauffeuring. He has coffee every so often with another friend. He knows how important it is to visit others. It’s good for everyone involved!
Maybe it’s a generational thing. The Greatest Generation remembers how to care for the extended family – whether by blood or by church or by neighborhood. Maybe some of the Baby Boomers, Generations X and Y, and Millennials were carefully taught by example, but I think many of us missed it. Maybe it’s because so many women have entered the workforce, and the time constraints of managing home and job for both parents overwhelm the families.
Whatever the reason, I know Mom doesn’t have many visitors. After all those years of going out and ministering to others, not many visit her. Every so often she’ll receive a card or a quick phone call. She has caregivers, of course, who keep her company. There’s also a chance she may not recognize someone familiar even if they did visit, but she lights up for “new” faces. It breaks up her day in a positive way, and a short visit is appreciated so much.
We all know someone who is housebound or lonely. Let’s get out there and visit them.
