I love to paint. I’m not an artist by any stretch of the imagination, but I do love the peacefulness of holding a brush. My garden is my happy place, but sitting down to paint is right up there!
I like to get ideas from Pinterest, the online idea forum. I have several “boards” there full of ideas for crafts, Christmas presents, quotes and more. Just recently I have started a board of caregiving ideas. It is very helpful to know what others have done or are doing while dealing with dementia. There are games and small activities to keep their minds busy and active. Many of the activities seem too elementary for Mom so I thought I’d try something to assess her willingness to try an activity.
Today I attempted to enlist Mom’s help in organizing my small bottles of acrylic paints. During my extended time at their house last fall as Dad was recuperating from his tumble off the roof (see here), I moved all my paints out to their house so I would have a creative outlet. I’ve configured and reconfigured them, trying to find the best way to store them. Mom’s job was to move them from one container to the next – no particular order, just moving them. She was delighted to help me.
She had the reds/oranges. She would take a bottle and read the entire side including the name of the color and what brand. She would comment on the color and occasionally take a lid off – resulting in “engine red” all over her fingertips at one point. The concept was clear in her mind and she could tell me exactly what she should be doing, but she couldn’t stay on task. In the hour that she helped, she moved three bottles, even with my verbal affirmation of what she was attempting.
The job wasn’t really the point. What I was trying to do was make her feel useful and productive. I think it did. She seemed to enjoy herself and agreed to help me again on another day. She was quite chipper and sang hymns most of the time. Her favorite color of the afternoon was “tropical orange”; she’d like to have a dress made out of that color.
She liked the color blue I was using to paint some small wooden crates. However she did warn me that “Donna won’t like you using her paints. That’s her stuff, you know, and she’s quite particular about how things are set up.” When I insisted that Donna wouldn’t mind, she said that I didn’t know her as well as she did. We had a good laugh about that!
I have often wondered how slowly the time must pass when there’s nothing to do all day. My days are gloriously full and even frenetic sometimes. I love it that way. The few times I’ve been bed-ridden after surgery I’ve gone stir crazy. Although Mom’s mind works differently, I’m certain she still gets bored. There is a longing in all of us to feel needed. This week I plan to challenge myself to find things that Mom can do and ways to present them so she’ll feel needed.
