They’ve been married 65 years. Mom and Dad were married on June 4, 1951 and they had a small church wedding. They hadn’t known each other very long, but each knew what kind of person they were looking for and when they found it.
Fifteen years ago, all of their children and grandchildren went to the beach for a week. It was a wonderful way to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. We stayed in the same timeshare area at Long Beach, North Carolina. During that week, we ate many dinners together and the cousins played. It was a wonderful time to celebrate the two people who had committed their lives to each other, and it was the longest block of time we’d had together as adults.
Fast forward to 2016 and I realize even more now how precious those days were. This year Mom doesn’t remember that it’s their day. I’m not sure she was aware last year either. I can’t imagine how difficult that must be for Dad.
I know some couples who celebrate each year with the traditional gifts. They have a special date and make a big deal out of their day. Because of my crazy work schedule, Michael and I rarely get to spend our day together. Most of the time we are able to get a quiet dinner date and do some childless shopping in as our celebration sometime the week of our date. We don’t buy anniversary gifts, but we do try to do that connects us. This year we celebrate 23 years together, and I am excited that one of my former students is getting married on “our” day.
The traditional gift of diamonds at 60 years is the last one on the list. Dad has always gotten Mom a big box of Russell Stover’s chocolate for their anniversary. This year is no exception. It’s a beautiful box with a big rose on the front. She’s never been one for sharing her candy, and this time she’s being especially stingy; she won’t even let me look at the box! She has already accused me of eating some of it. When I point out that the evidence is on her fingers, she insists that she hasn’t eaten any and she doesn’t understand how chocolate could have gotten there.
In talking about her to others, I often say she acts like a 3 year old. She’s definitely entering the terrible twos. Remember the “I do it myself” stage? The temper tantrums that dissolve into tears? The refusing to nap even though they are exhausted? That’s where we are right now. Just as it is with toddlers, there are sweet, cuddly moments, too. I love those moments and hang on when the wind shifts.
For Dad, I think these shifting days are tougher than ever. I am so grateful for two new caregivers in our lives to lift some of the stress. As Mom and Dad walk into year 66 together, I pray for times of refreshment and solace for both of them.
