Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and there was a lot of conversation on social media and television about love. I read many professions of love from one person to another. Whether it was romantic love or friendship love, Valentine’s Day certainly brings that word out into everyday speech. Unfortunately it is not tied to another word that I think is just as important: commitment.
According to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, a simple definition of commitment is a promise to do or give something, a promise to be loyal to someone or something, or the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something. It seems our world is filled with people making promises they inevitably won’t keep. I don’t mean to sound like a cynic, but I have low expectations for our presidential hopefuls to follow through on their campaign promises. Expressions of commitment on social media seem hollow to me.
I do see true commitment in my parent’s lives, however. During their 60+ years together, they have supported, loved, and leaned on each other. They are the definition of commitment to me. They have moved all over this world together, raising a family, making new friends, and always staying faithful to their vows. They are loyal to each other and they have worked very hard to support each other.
Commitment has defined their relationship to each other and to their family and friends. In spite of Mom’s dementia, Dad is faithful to continue the trajectory of their life together. He is an amazing caregiver. He lives his commitment to her every day in ways he’d never dreamed. He has carried the weight of this phase and has made certain that his children know his wishes concerning Mom’s care should anything happen to him.
Commitment is far beyond what we can see. Life changes in a moment. Commitment is through and beyond those changes. It is “to infinity and beyond” to quote Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story.
Dad’s world has certainly changed and been rearranged through this process. Although it has been a difficult thing to do, there was never a question in his mind that he would do it. It’s hard for me to even fathom the depths of his love for her. It’s always been lived out in front of me, but it’s more tangible now than ever.
I am so grateful for their example. I’ve seen other spouses just as devoted, living out their love until death parted them. What a gift they gave me: no matter the circumstances or trials, they remained faithful and loyal.
So in these days and weeks after Valentine’s Day, commitment is my goal. Not only commitment to my marriage and to my husband, Michael, and my kids, family, and friends but also to my word, my faith, and my little corner of the world. I am going to strive to be dedicated, devoted, supportive, and loyal. I’m going to try to live out urbandictionary.com’s “top definition” of commitment:
Commitment is what
Transforms the promise into reality.
It is the words that speak
Boldly of your intentions.
And the actions which speak
Louder than the words.
It is making the time
When there is none.
Coming through time
After time after time,
Year after year after year.
Commitment is the stuff
Character is made of;
The power to change
The face of things.
It is the daily triumph
Of integrity over skepticism.
When I say I love you, I mean that I’m committed to working to love you even when it’s hard.
