Ice cream is one of my mother’s favorite foods. She loves all kinds but especially the kind with nuts or chocolate stuff added. Currently, she’s on a “moose tracks” kick. I enjoy a bowl of ice cream occasionally but am more of a candy, cookies, cake, and pie kind of gal.
It’s surprising to me that Mom doesn’t enjoy eating meals as much as she used to. We loved going on Mondays to the different restaurants in Clarkesville, sometimes even traveling to Cleveland or Toccoa to eat out. We’d make a whole adventure around it. Lots of times there would be additional shopping involved – especially if there was an antique or thrift store nearby. We’d plan all morning as she got ready where to go then think about our menu on the drive.
I didn’t think eating would ever become difficult. Finding something that appeals to her is tricky some days. Bread needs to be toasted just brown enough and she won’t eat the crust. She’s always been picky about skins – nothing fuzzy on her peaches or peels on her apples. But now, potatoes need to be completely smooth with lots of butter. I don’t know if it’s the texture that bothers her. But it does take a bit more preparation than I’m used to doing.
Jean and Dad are far more patient about this than I am. It’s a fine balance between getting a job done and catering to every small detail of a whim. I know it’s a good thing for Mom to have all three of us. We all deal with her so differently. I attempt to get fruits and vegetables incorporated into her diet – seems only fair since she made me eat mine as a kid. Jean and Dad just want her to eat something.
So this is the point on which I’m dwelling this week. I like to eat but I’m not much on food preparation. I do my part to keep the local restaurants in business. My friends love to tease me about the use of my kitchen appliances – how dusty my stove must be or about the spider webs that probably live inside my oven. Truth be told, most of the meals that come from my kitchen are a product of my husband or children.
Mom was an excellent cook. She enjoyed entertaining and the planning and meals that came along with the holidays. Dad made the pecan pies and special desserts. Now, of course, any cooking is done by Dad, occasionally Jean, and, rarely, me. I was so very grateful for all the meals that folks prepared during Dad’s recent recovery. It was a true gift of love and I appreciated every bite!
Mom’s bites are slow and measured. It takes a while for her to finish her small portions of “real” food. Some foods are still at the top of her list. “Chicago’s Pizza” makes a calzone that she adores. “Cap’n D’s” has a shrimp plate that she likes. But, ice cream. Ah, ice cream. Now, that’s the stuff!
She loves to tell me about her dates with her daddy on Saturdays when she was a girl. That was the day they’d ride to the market together. I don’t know if this happened once or all the time but here’s the story: After doing their errands and driving around town, her daddy said to her “Young ‘un” (her daddy always called her young’un) “I think today would be a good day to get some ice cream”. She agreed.
That’s the story. Somehow ice cream, with all of it’s obvious other attractive attributes, connects her to a sweet memory of her daddy and is the most appealing food available. I understand that some folks in their last years exist on ice cream almost exclusively. I can see why. Today is always a good day to eat some ice cream.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Donna Bunn James moved to Clarkesville, GA in middle school after her father retired from the Air Force. Years after college, she and her husband Michael returned to Habersham County to raise their three children here.
A professionally trained musician, Donna attended the prestigious North Carolina School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, NC and holds a Bachelor of Music in Voice Performance from Furman University in Greenville, SC and a Master of Arts in Teaching from Piedmont College in Demorest, GA.
She is a voice and piano teacher and sought-after accompanist. Donna also directs the Mountain Voices Community Chorus and the choir at First United Methodist Church in Cornelia. Amidst her many jobs she makes the time to care for her aging and ailing mother, Ruth.
If you are a caregiver and have a story to share or know of resources that might help other caregivers, please contact her at [email protected].
