There are fourteen stairs in my parent’s house. They lead from the first floor main living area to the second story bedrooms. When I was a kid, we all had bedrooms upstairs. A few years ago, the downstairs music room was remodeled into a bedroom/bath area to make it easier for Mom. Although Dad still uses one of the old bedrooms as an office, most of their daily activity happens on the first floor.
Two weeks ago, we started a new chapter in our lives. It was the weekend before my dad’s 86th birthday. The family was coming into town to celebrate so dad decided to clean up the yard and house. He was preparing to blow the leaves off the roof when his ladder slipped and he fell. Fortunately, he fell onto the top of the back porch and my sister was there when it happened. Unfortunately, he broke three ribs, damaged four vertebrae and sliced his forearm on the sheet metal roof.
The EMT’s and first responders who came to his rescue were wonderful.
Mom, of course, was very concerned but also very confused. She didn’t understand why there were so many people in the house. Every EMT was respectful and courteous. They dealt with her gently and with great kindness. It took a while to figure out how to get Dad off the roof on the backboard. Meanwhile, Mom was in distress, too. She knew something had happened to Dad but she couldn’t get up the stairs to him.
The First Responders decided instead of lowering Dad down the ladder they would remove an upstairs window and pull him into the house through the enlarged opening. It worked. As they carried Dad down the stairs on the backboard you could tell he was in pain and the EMTs were eager to get him to the hospital. Still, they patiently waited as Mom and Dad said their goodbyes. Mom shuffled up the hallway and planted a gentle kiss on Dad’s forehead. He assured her he would be alright.
It was so tender.
I am grateful. Grateful for two people who have loved each other through all the ups and downs of 64 years of marriage. Grateful that they can’t take leave of each other without a parting kiss. Grateful for the example of how to be concerned about another above selfish concerns. Grateful for gentle and kind EMTs and First Responders who took time to care for Dad’s spirit as well as his physical frame. Grateful for their calling and strong bodies and clear thinking. Grateful for a hospital in our community and for the staff there.
Looking back, I shudder to think what could have happened that day. My brothers and sisters and I have only ever imagined a future where Dad’s there to care for Mom. I’d never considered what she — or we — would do without him. Thankfully, we do not have to face that today. Dad’s now well on his way to recovery and soon, I’ll be on my way back home.
I moved into my parent’s house for a few weeks to help take care of them. We have been loved on by friends with meals, visits and phone calls. It’s been comforting to be back under my parents’ roof, sleeping at night in the same bed I did as a child. Each night I’ve climbed the fourteen stairs leading to my old room and I’ve reflected on my blessings.
How grateful I am to have this time to tuck Mom into bed and tell her I love her just as she did for me all those years ago. Dad’s even allowed me to tuck his feet under a blanket in his makeshift recliner bed. Soon, I’ll return to my own home across town and Dad will return to Mom’s bedside. And while our lives may return to some state of normalcy, we won’t really be picking up where we left off. We’re in a new chapter of caregiving where we are forced to accept there are things beyond our control but blessed to know that, even when life changes, true love endures.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Donna Bunn James moved to Clarkesville, GA in middle school after her father retired from the Air Force. Years after college, she and her husband Michael returned to Habersham County to raise their three children here.
A professionally trained musician, Donna attended the prestigious North Carolina School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, NC and holds a Bachelor of Music in Voice Performance from Furman University in Greenville, SC and a Master of Arts in Teaching from Piedmont College in Demorest, GA.
She is a voice and piano teacher and sought-after accompanist. Donna also directs the Mountain Voices Community Chorus and the choir at First United Methodist Church in Cornelia. Amidst her many jobs she makes the time to care for her aging and ailing mother, Ruth.
If you are a caregiver and have a story to share or know of resources that might help other caregivers, please contact her at [email protected].
