I have become one of a group of people of a “certain age” who moan each time we move. We’re the moaning and groaning group. You may know us already; each time we move, especially from sitting to standing, we let out a guttural “ugh” of some type. Our moaning and groaning is worse in the morning, lessens in afternoon, and then intensifies again in the evening.
My dad is not a member. It’s because he’s always kept himself in excellent physical shape. Even now, as he approaches his 89th birthday in October, he’s in top physical condition. His doctor has told him to keep doing what he’s doing and that includes biking, walking, and strengthening. He laments if he gains more than three or four pounds so he cuts back on his sweets until he’s returned to his ideal weight. It’s somewhat obsessive and my siblings all inherited that enjoyment of physical activity right along with him. I didn’t.
My siblings have not participated in the moaning and groaning club. They have some years on me – 12, 11, and 7 ½ – but they are still active with walking, tennis, running, and strength training. Aside from injuries here or there, they have kept themselves moving. Maybe arthritis is getting in some of their joints, but I never hear them moan or groan.
I’m getting better with each year in terms of my moaning and groaning. When I first get out of bed in the morning, I am working on developing a resonant “umph.” (As I write, I am uncertain how to articulate the sounds associated with this phenomenon. You may have to decipher a new language of sorts.) After sitting awhile at my computer in the hard kitchen chairs, a good “oof” can get me upright. While teaching, I occasionally sit on the low sofa in the music room and it takes a guttural “grrr” to push up to standing. Sometimes, even after standing, I tip-toe with a certain small “pffts” with my lips because my feet have cramped.
Mom is a leader in moaning and groaning. I’m not criticizing; I’m certain that if I live to be ninety years old, I will be a frontrunner, too. Mom can moan or groan with each breath, a practice I find fascinating. Years ago, when I first heard her attempt this effort, I thought it must be because she was fighting some internal battle. I’m beginning to believe now that it’s a way of getting attention. I’ve noticed once I sit beside her and hold her hand, the grunting stops. I don’t think she’s purposefully requesting full attention, but like a small child, she just needs the comfort of having someone near although she cannot articulate it.
I wonder if that’s the truth for all of us; in our creaky knees or stiff hips, we make little noises to attract attention. Even weightlifters in their strength and ability will moan and groan to get through a power play so onlookers can “ooh” and “aah” over their feats. Maybe we’re just practicing our exclamations if we grunt to an empty room. It’ a curious thing, isn’t it?
Perhaps all of us of a certain age who like moaning and groaning should turn it into a support group. Who’s with me?
