Caregiving is exhausting. It doesn’t matter if you are caring for a child or an adult, the process of attending someone else’s needs is depleting. When you are giving so much of yourself to protect and nourish and love, it’s so easy to lose sight of your own care. There’s a spiritual and emotional exhaustion that sets into our psyche that affects us whether we admit it or not.
I retreated this weekend. When I say that, I think of an army who, suffering heavy losses, retreats to preserve the lives of those soldiers in order to fight another day. According to Merriam-Webster, some of the definitions are:
1b: the usually forced withdrawal of troops from an enemy or from an advanced position
2: a place of privacy or safety: refuge
3: a period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director
The retreat was both #2 and #3. It was one of those serendipitous experiences that sometimes come my way. Although I didn’t know any of the hosts of this trip, I was invited because of my hands. I played for the praise and worship times and was blessed beyond measure by the friends I made and the words spoken by Babbie Mason, the speaker.
My hands have carried me to many places. Whenever new people hear me play, they usually say something along the lines of “I wish I could play the piano.” Sometimes I hear, “What an amazing gift God gave you.” I often chuckle at the second statement. Yes, I know that I was given a talent, but it took a stern, determined mother to develop it. Between my mom and thousands of hours of practice, it was honed into the current state of musical ability. For more on Mom’s singular determination to make me into a musician, read here.
As I retreated this weekend, I didn’t know what was in store. It was a blind date of sorts except that I’d admired Babbie Mason as a Christian music artist from afar for a long time. I considered it a job since I was contracted to play, but it turned into something far more beautiful than that.
During the retreat, I met other caregivers. I also met other women struggling with some of the peripheral family difficulties I face. Several women shared testimonies of struggles they had faced or were facing. They talked of days when the load was so heavy they couldn’t pray. They spoke of days when the prayers of friends kept their heads above water in their stormy seas. It all resonated deeply with me.
When we would communicate one-on-one, I was blessed by prayers poured over me, prayers for strength, compassion, endurance, and grace. Women who I’d just met shared my burdens by listening and understanding. That’s the beauty of retreating. Away from the daily cares and schedules, there’s an intensity of caring. I needed it even though I didn’t know it was what I needed.
I think retreats should be mandatory for all of us. Even if it is a solitary hermitage, each of us needs time away. Vacations with family or friends are wonderful, but there is something about stealing away to a remote space for quiet thought and contemplation and connection with like-minded individuals.
I highly recommend Hilton Rural Retreat Center in Hayesville, North Carolina (just north of Hiawassee.) It’s less than 90 minutes from Habersham County. It is a beautiful location and affordable for groups or individuals. Here is a link to their website.
It was a surprise gift. I’m grateful.
