The Nun marks the latest chapter in the Conjuring Universe and for my money, it is an aggressively stupid and fright-free spinoff. Say what you will about the Annabelle movies, but those were probably The Exorcist compared to this. It’s another example of a horror thriller that is plot heavy, logic light and relies heavily on jump scares in order to be scary or creepy.
This one takes place in 1952 Romania and it involves a priest (Demian Bichir) who teams up with a nun-in-training (Taissa Farmiga, Vera’s sister) to solve the death of another nun or as the priest calls it “miracle hunting.” They travel to a Romanian village and meet a young man named Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet) who gives them a ride up to the abbey where the nun died. “I’m French-Canadian,” he says. It’s too bad he’s not French and Italian. That would make the potential sister reconsider taking her vows.
Once inside the abbey, the trio witnesses a series of spooky circumstances as they try to solve the murder, but as per usual in this universe, it amounts to a number of things that go bump in the night and we can see those bumps coming at every corner. Every time we see a series of figures that don’t move, we know inevitably that one of them will. There is one set piece that is slightly original and that is when a dead nun is positioned at an angle that resembles Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” music video. Was “Thriller” going to be emanated next?
The whole movie serves to be endless exposition briefly stopped so that the jump scares can happen for the convenience of the plot. That setup wore me down real fast. I think only hardcore fans will go see it and then rip it apart so they can analyze the inconsistencies and its unique visual style.
Plus, don’t even get me started on some of the more inexplicable plot developments that come across as ludicrous or, in some cases, downright laughable especially in a scene where the nuns are praying at a crucial moment and yet we laugh. Or the ending. Again, don’t even get me started.
Instead of doing Hail Marys or Our Fathers, the filmmakers need to craft a better and more logical screenplay to fit the scarier moments. Your penance as a moviegoer should be to see Crazy Rich Asians again. Amen.
Grade: D
(Rated R for terror,violence, and disturbing/bloody images.)
This review is dedicated to the memory of Wendy Dasher.
