When I’m lonely, when I cannot see through the blinding, debilitating emotion that locks me away from friends, family and even God, I need a simple plan. I need a simple path towards a more balanced view. I need to ACT.
A – C – T
Acknowledge times of loneliness are not unusual. King David, Elijah, Jonah and many others suffered times of deep loneliness and even depression. Try and identify what is causing these feelings. Isolation from family or friends, chemical imbalance or family history – identifying a possible cause can help resolve the feeling and define a course of action.
In I Samuel, David was on the run from Saul’s armies. Saul had been pursuing him and would certainly kill David. David had been promised the kingdom, but God had not delivered it yet! David’s early fame had aroused an insane jealousy in King Saul, and now, here he is in a cave, hiding from Saul, trapped and alone. Hear the words from Psalm 142.
1-2 I cry out loudly to God, loudly I plead with God for mercy.
I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail:
3-7 “As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, You know how I’m feeling,
Know the danger I’m in, the traps hidden in my path.
Look right, look left— there’s not a soul who cares what happens!
I’m up against it, with no exit— bereft, left alone.
I cry out, God, call out: ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’
Oh listen, please listen; I’ve never been this low.
Rescue me from those who are hunting me down; I’m no match for them.
Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public.
Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!”
Perhaps your feelings of loneliness have an apparent cause, like David. Other times, you may need deeper introspection to get to the cause. Either way, acknowledge your feelings and release yourself from any additional guilt for “feeling this way.” We all do!
Psalm 13:1-6 ESV
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. …
Psalm 38:9 ESV
O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.
If David, a man after God’s own heart, a king, has times of loneliness and struggle, we certainly should not be surprised when we feel the same way!
Connect with fellow believers, a friend, pastor, or counselor. Tell them what you are going through. Yes, it’s scary, but we all need community. Loneliness carries a stigma that keeps us from Find others with common interests whether bird-watching or book club.
God didn’t intend for us to live in isolation. Hebrews 10:22-25 describes community and connection this way:
Hebrews 10:24-25 The Message (MSG)
22-25 So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Tending relationships takes time and effort – and can feel exhausting! But community is fun and fosters love.
| Romans 12:3-6 The Message (MSG)
In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t. |
|
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Thankfulness is both the hardest and the easiest step. When I’m sad and lonely, I tend to say “poor me” and wallow in my feelings. But if I start with the most obvious things – each breath I take, each color I see – pretty soon I have a thankful spirit filling my heart with gratefulness instead of self-introspection.
When looking outward to all the many things and people for whom I am thankful, I realize how full and blessed my life is.
Philippians 4:6-7 ESV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
It’s a simple acronym – ACT. Acknowledge, Connect, be Thankful. I pray that this little word combined with the promises of scripture encourages you the next time you are lonely.
The simple truth is that we are never alone.
If you would like to contact me about loneliness or caregiving, email me at [email protected].
