I’m in the middle of a remodeling project at Mom and Dad’s, turning the formal living room into a music studio. The part that I have been working on for the last few weeks is taking down the forty-year-old wallpaper that was peeling at the seams. I have removed the paper and one of the glue layers, but there is still glue on the walls. Mom and Dad did a great job of putting this paper up and meant for it to stay. What a project!
As I’m slowly moving around the room scraping glue, I’ve thought of all the layers of time that have passed through this room. Built in 1977, this room was stylish for its day. In the eighties and nineties, the room was used for Christmas gatherings or secret meetings between cousins. When Mom and Dad moved their bedroom down to the main floor, Mom’s desk found a home here and the piano was moved as well. More than any other room in the house, however, I think this room has been mostly unchanged for all these years.
Peeling layers of glue and planning paint colors for the walls, I thought about the lives of the people who planned and wallpapered this room. They bought furniture for it and decorated it. They laughed and cried in it. They filled it with memories. Layer upon layer of who they are was on display in this room. Mom loved the formality of this room, and no food or drink was allowed. Dad listened to his music or would set up his reel to reel and play the family movies in this room. That’s how I knew my siblings were getting serious with their soon-to-be spouse – Dad would play the childhood memories!
There’s a movie called “Shrek” that I always quote when thinking about layers. In this scene, Shrek, the ogre, is trying to explain to Donkey that ogres are more complicated and complex than expected.
Shrek: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes… No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers… You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “… no, I don’t like no parfait.”? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole … planet!
Like Shrek, we have difficulty communicating our layers. Bud Feder’s Peeling the Onion is based on ideas presented by Fritz Perls in the late 1960’s. Perls used the layers of an onion to describe personality in relation to individual experience, behavior, and identification. (I wonder if the writers of “Shrek” had read about Perls.) The first layer is “Cliché” – small talk and meeting new people. The room was used for meeting new people. Next is “role” – what we do and how we define ourselves in society. Mom used this room to display her creativity and for her homemaker meetings. There are three other layers that are part of Perl’s theory. For more information on this topic, click here.
Ogres, onions, rooms, and people all have layers. This room is full of personality layers like the layers I’m stripping from the wall. It’s hard to explain. We are all a sum of more depth than people realize. This room means many different things to the people who live here. Mom doesn’t remember the room, but Dad does. I remember it, too, but I’m more excited about bringing new layers of purpose and personality into the room.
