Mom loves the holidays.
We used to decorate together, but this year it’s up to me to change things around from fall to Christmas. It’s been many years since we had a Christmas tree, but I do like to decorate the wreaths and mantle and other horizontal surfaces. Mom and I have a great time pulling things out of boxes.
She is so cute. I bring something to her and she exclaims, “I have one just like that!” or “That looks just like mine!” I remind her that these are her things, but since she is staying at the “facility” in her mind, she just can’t connect. She is delighted I am making this effort to make things look Christmas-y. She tells me how much she appreciates it.
The best time of decorating comes when we pull out the manger scene. Dad had packed it away last year in newsprint from the Gainesville Times. I hand each newspaper-wrapped figurine for her to unwrap and name while I set up the stable and put them on the mantle in order. We talk about the story of the baby Jesus as we work.
The first one she opens is a shepherd. I ask her who that is. She comes up with “Walter.” Since this is the name of my brother-in-law and I don’t know that we have ever named the shepherd, I think she just made up a name that she likes. The next figure is a wise man. She begins reading the paper again. I figure she’s gotten distracted, but she names him “Community.” Hmmm. This makes me curious.
Next up is Mary. Since she’s the only woman in the story, I figure Mom will come up with her name quickly. Instead she begins reading again, laying out the paper flat against her leg. “Who is this, Mom?” She replies, “I can’t find her name.” It is then that I realize what has been happening. The shepherd had been wrapped in an article about the Walters YMCA in Gainesville. The wise man was wrapped with the Community Happenings headline. Mary was wrapped in the classifieds with print too small to read without her glasses. She is looking for the name of the figures in the newspaper!
I pull out the manger and the baby. After unwrapping them and setting them on her tray, I again ask about Mary. This time it is crystal clear. Mary. The baby Jesus. Now she’s got it!
All goes well until we pull out the sheep with the broken leg. I don’t know where the rest of his leg is – it’s been broken a long time. Mom wants me to repair his leg, and she doesn’t want me to put him with the rest of the scene until he’s been fixed. I sneak him up there after distracting her with another figure. By then, the switch has been flipped and she is mad at me. That is the end of our decorating for today.
I’ve been thinking of that broken-legged sheep a lot since then. I wonder why it upset her. It occurs to me it is a perfect metaphor for decorating and for Christmas. Decorations don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to be perfect. Christmas is coming and we can all spend time at the manger without being fixed. We can come in all of our imperfectness and still find a spot in the stable.
I’m glad Mom made a big deal about the sheep with the broken leg. The distraction of decorating came to a halt. It’s okay though because we can finish up later. She really made me stop to think and pay attention. I’ll never look at a manger scene the same way again.
She still has so much to teach me.
