One of the toughest parts of life is watching someone we love heading into an abyss. I imagine it as though I’m standing on the shoreline – the waters are calm – my friend is in a boat, paddling, oblivious to the path ahead. However, I know that path. I’ve been on it. I know what is up ahead. What awaits my friend is – to put it lightly – hell.
As I stand screaming at the top of my lungs, “Stop! Go Back! Turn Around! There’s this huge drop off, with jagged rocks and…” they just keep paddling along as if they have headphones on. I’m waving my arms, jumping up and down, stomping my feet. “The water is going to get really rough. The current is strong. You have to stop doing this…”
Maybe you’re on the sidelines now watching your friend or spouse or child heading down a destructive path, wondering what to do. Whether it is a rebellious teenager, a self-centered co-worker, or a friend committing adultery, the shoreline stance happens to us all at some point in our lives. I have learned when people are falling, they’ll grab onto anyone on the way down. Sadly, many innocent people get taken down because of the fall of another. It all started with Eve, Adam, and continues to you and me.
To watch people we love make choices we do not agree will be good for them is difficult. It is reasonable to say, if we didn’t love them it wouldn’t matter what they did but because we do love them, it is painful to watch.
The prodigal son is a great example. In this parable, the son was determined to leave his father’s home and take his inheritance. The father allows him to leave – he didn’t help him – he didn’t bail him out – he gave his son the freedom to leave. At the same time, the father always left the door open for his son’s return. He waited for him to realize his mistake and turn around. And it does not indicate in the scripture that he ever says, “I told you so” once the son returned.
For those of us who are God’s children, God will always love us, even when we make bad choices. While God has created all people, He is Father to only those who have chosen Him. That’s the whole point of free will. We have a choice to be His child and He gives that opportunity to every one until the day we die.
As for my friend in the boat, paddling gleefully along, thinking the abyss is really not as bad as I say, I can only pray, wait, stay kind, and leave the door open until he/she decides to turn around.
Few things are as challenging as respecting a person’s right to make a decision. It is important to maintain the relationship unless you are going to fall too. Consistently remind the person that God loves him/her. Commit to praying that somehow his/her heart will change.
However, if you’re one of those in the boat, paddling along, while the one’s you love are screaming from the shoreline – STOP and TURN AROUND! You are loved. Please realize it.
