May is National Foster Care Awareness Month. In the coming weeks Now Habersham will publish a series of articles focusing on foster care and the need for more foster homes in our community. Please take time to read these articles and consider your role in helping local children in need.
This article was written by Fran Chastain. She and her husband Ricky have been married for 20 years. They have two biological children and 11 adopted children. The Chastains have fostered more than thirty children during their 13 years as substitute parents.
Pictured above, the Chastains and their children. Front row, left to right: William, Mariella, Daniel. Second row, l-r: Joe, Fran, Jerry, Ricky, Donavan. Third row, l-r: Ed, Megan (friend), Jamie, Nicole, Nolberto, Karli, Caleb and Lili. (photos by Melissa Henderson)
The term ‘foster care’ rings with negativity no matter who says it. I’ve been a foster parent for 13 years and I’ve become painfully aware of the negative connotations associated with fostering. Just look at the definition of foster care from www.merriam-webster.com: Supervised care for orphaned, neglected or delinquent children or for persons mentally ill in a substitute home or institution on either a full-time or day-care basis. Well now, that sounds so inviting I bet everyone wants to run sign up for that job!
Let’s find a better way to define it. How about ‘substitute parenting’? Sounds much better to me. Those who have children probably feel like substitute parents when their house is full of their children’s friends. My definition of substitute parenting is: Providing a peaceful, safe and loving home to children in need while their parents and family cannot take care of them. To me, as a Christian, it’s more than a definition, it’s a calling.
A mission field in our own backyard
James 1:27 (NIV) “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: To look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
“…when you meet that mission it changes children’s lives…and your own.”
Mission trips are popular in our churches. People sign up to travel to other parts of the world to share the Good News about Christ. Well, here’s a mission field in our own backyard. Being a trained substitute parent takes time and dedication but when you meet that the mission it changes children’s lives…and your own.
The Department of Family & Children Services and substitute parents are bound by a goal to reunite families when possible. The goal is to help the families overcome whatever challenges they face and that cause their children to need substitute families. Sometimes it is not possible. Sometimes it is not in the best interest of the child for them to return to their biological parents and permanent placement is made with a relative or adoptive parents. Under new state laws, everyone involved should know the permanency plan within 12 to 15 months and sometimes sooner.
What’s in it for me?
You may ask that question and I can tell you from experience, “A whole lot!”
Substitute parenting gives you an overjoyed heart knowing that the time spent with these children is precious and favored by God. Substitute parenting allows you the privilege of making a positive difference in a child’s life. Think about it; you may be the first person to show a child what real, unconditional love is all about.
What does it cost? Monetarily it should not cost you anything. The state will compensate/reimburse you for the care of the child, but this is not a money-making venture. No substitute parent should ever go into the foster relationship thinking there’s money to be made. Sure, there are stories about those who bilk the system, but that’s not the norm. Substitute parenting is an investment but the rewards are not financial; they come in the form of smiles, hugs, love and hope.
Being a substitute parent will cost you a few tears and possibly some heartbreak but the joy and love you see in the eyes of the children will keep you strong.
How do you let them go?
You never let them go from your heart. Remember, the goal is to reunite the child with their family which is usually what they so desperately want in their own little hearts. It is not an easy task but, when you work with the child and the family, you will know it is the right thing. When it’s not possible for the child to be reunited with their family – when they have nowhere else to go – you may choose to adopt the child or you may be instrumental in finding them an adoptive home. Either way, it’s a rewarding experience just knowing that you have helped a child and worked to fulfill God’s plan in their lives and yours.
I hear this a lot: “I just could not let them go, so, I cannot be a foster parent.” If you are a Christian you can do it and God will never leave your side. It is a calling but you must seek out to see if it is your calling.
Habersham and surrounding counties are in desperate need of more foster homes and substitute parents. Please consider it. Please pray about it. The need is great. The need is NOW!
If you are interested in learning more about becoming a foster parent please call 877-210-KIDS, 770-331-1024 or email [email protected].
