“The ear that listens to life-giving reproof, will dwell among the wise.” –Proverbs 15:31
One thing is for certain as a Momma, your heart will be broken. Over and again.
At first, it’s the cry of an earache when they are too little to know why it hurts. With each passing phase in their development, it becomes a little more complex. That kid at the playground who shoves your little one down for seemingly no reason. You might have shoved that kid back were it not for the fact that you’re an adult and know better (more significantly, you wouldn’t get away with it. If you could, you might still consider it.) When they set their sights on an important goal and don’t make it the first time or at all. The sting of their first broken heart. Each painful life lesson, even though they need to walk through it to become who they will be, chips away at a Mother’s heart.
My baby is standing with one foot in late adolescence and the other in adulthood. His problems are legitimate and excruciating. When I see him struggle, I’m reminded of the Mom from the film Meet the Parents who leaps in the swimming pool after her adult child is hit by a volleyball that was spiked at her face. It’s a comedy film, and we all understand that this particular scene is to make light of the helicopter parent. We find it funny and tragic, all in the same breath, because most of us know the agony of wanting to hit the pool with both feet, fully clothed, and rush to be by our child’s side, trying to take away the pain and bear it ourselves.
If you feel this way about your babies, no matter how old they are, you’re not alone. Being a brave Momma means allowing them to fall and get back up on their own. At a certain point, it’s not okay to be the one dusting them off. They need to do it. And you have to stand torturously to the side, because if you don’t, they won’t ever know that they really can do it for themselves. Sometimes, no matter how well you’ve prepared them, they aren’t terrifically good at dusting themselves off. Have patience, Mommas. They will get there.
Learning to heed reproof and suffering the consequences when we do not is something that we all have to go through. For as bad as it feels, and for the million different ways you will dream up to blame yourself, we all need to find that moment when we let them fall, cry it out, and be strong on their own. We learned to do it; they will too.
The road may be long and rugged, but take heart, you weren’t made strong in a day – nor will they be.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Elle Schuler is a follower of Jesus, Student of Mental Health, and Life, Faith, and Adventure Blogger. Schuler lives in the Northeast Georgia Mountains with her dog, Biscuit.
