It’s in full swing – the lights, the bells, the songs, the parties, and the gifts. Christmas is here. While for some of us, it is the most wonderful time of year, for others, it is the gloomiest time of year.
I met a lady several years ago. She lost her son on Christmas Eve and the season was never the same for her again, even though she tried. For me personally, I’ve experienced the death of someone I loved tremendously around Christmas, the break-up of a 26 year marriage, the closing of a business, and a serious illness. While I work hard not to allow the past to impact my celebration of Christ’s birth, there are certain songs or smells which make me sad; which put me back into places I do not want to go.
For some it is a financial stress or time management issue that causes the season to be less than enjoyable. For others, it can be infertility, depression, loneliness, or lack of family which cause sadness.
Whatever the reason, Christmas can be less than Merry for many.
Here are some practical tips to help you to cope when Christmas is a struggle:
- Do not spend it alone. Surround yourself with positive people. Focus on the people who are in your life and try to take the focus off of who isn’t in your life. Celebrate the 5 filled chairs at your table instead of feeling sad over the one empty one. I make it sound easy, I know. But the reality of life is, it keeps moving whether we are onboard or not. Family doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with blood relationship. Family is a community of support. It is people who want to celebrate you and with whom you want to celebrate. If you can’t find a couple of people to share the holidays, then volunteer in a rehab center or nursing home or children’s hospital, and get busy making someone else’s Christmas wonderful. I bet you’ll find, in making someone else’s Christmas great, you’ll make your own great.
- Do not over-spend. Christmas has to have a budget. Without one, it can become a time of extreme stress and anxiety. Get creative! If you can’t afford a gift for someone, think of a gift you can make or something you can do for them. I love homemade gifts better than anything but also, when someone does something for me like organizes my closets or paints my porch, it’s even better. Give service coupons – three grass cuttings this coming summer or a night out for friends with young children or 2 home baked meals.
- Play. If you have children in your life, take them to see Christmas lights. Watch Christmas movies. Bake and decorate cookies. Whatever it is, expose yourself to children. The magic of Christmas is easy for them. If children make Christmas sad for you, focus on an adult Christmas. Go to concerts. Plan an adult party and make a 5 course meal. Travel for Christmas or spend time with the elderly.
- Eat right and exercise. You’re going to start in the New Year anyway. Eating healthy makes us feels better about ourselves and can keep us out of depression. Sugary foods can mean temporary highs followed by lows and those foods increase the scale number. Don’t allow your diet to get out-of-hand. You’ll handle your emotions much better.
- Give it away. People who give are much happier than people who don’t. Give of your time as a volunteer. Give of your resources. Sponsor a family who is less fortunate. Decorate a church. Serve meals. Buy gifts for children. Whatever it may be, you won’t be sad helping someone else.
