It’s ten o’clock at night. The kids went down at eight, and Rebecca Scrollferdaiz has been doomscrolling ever since the last complaint drifted from the nursery. Her husband, Dave, is next to her on the couch, thumbs flying across his own screen. The dinner dishes are still stacked in the sink, and Rebecca knows she should be in bed by eleven. Realistically? Midnight at best. Probably closer to 1:30 a.m.
As photos of smiling families and old friends fill her Facebook timeline, a pang hits. The “village” she thought adulthood would bring—the brunches, the friend group, the easy companionship—never quite materialized. Sure, she meets up now and then with a college friend or an acquaintance from the HOA. But Saturday morning mimosas? No brunch. No mimosas. And definitely no friends.
So Rebecca gets a little desperate. She finds a Facebook “connect” group and fires off a post: looking for mom friends! Dozens of like-minded women respond, and for a moment, she feels hopeful. But when it comes time to follow up? The dishes still need washing. Dave wins his game, puts away his phone, and they fold laundry together while half-watching TV. The loneliness isn’t solved. Just… postponed. Until she sees someone else’s “seeking friends” post, and she replies, reminded again of the ache.
If this sounds familiar, it’s time to break the cycle. In this article, I’ve gathered a few groups and events that may help you take the first steps toward building the community you’ve been longing for.
Life on the D-List
It’s an uncomfortable thing to admit, but here it is: you are the D-list friend. You know the type. The one whose kids don’t get invited to the birthday parties unless the entire preschool class is included. The one who gets coffee three times a year with people you consider “your friends,” yet never seems to get added to the pickleball group chat or the standing Friday night patio gathering. You’re not an outcast, exactly. But you’re not fully in either. And for many millennial moms, this strange liminal space between inclusion and isolation feels increasingly familiar.
We’ve heard about millennial loneliness before. Study after study warns of this epidemic. A 2021 report from the Making Caring Common project at Harvard found that 43% of young adults feel lonely “most or all of the time.” For mothers, the numbers are even more sobering. A 2023 survey by Motherly revealed that 79% of moms report feeling “at least somewhat lonely,” and 30% described themselves as “frequently or always lonely.”
It’s tempting to blame external forces. We moved across the country for work. Our friends from college scattered to the winds. Social media makes us feel connected but somehow leaves us lonelier. But there’s another possibility—one we rarely say out loud because it cuts too close: sometimes the loneliness is our fault.
Importance of the “C” Word
Not entirely, of course. Life circumstances matter. But relationships require tending. To have friends, you must be friendly. And friendliness isn’t passive; it’s not sitting in your living room hoping for an invitation. It’s initiating. It’s showing up. It’s staying committed even when it feels awkward or exhausting. And yes, it’s trying again when your efforts don’t immediately yield the brunch crew or tight-knit village you dream about.
For moms, the stakes feel especially high. Our children need us to model friendship, not just talk about it. And yet, motherhood often amplifies our fears of rejection. We’re tired. We’re overscheduled. We don’t want to impose. So we default to “low-maintenance friendship” that looks good on Instagram but feels hollow in real life.
But here’s the hard truth: friendship is forged in repetition.
The habits that keep us stuck are subtle. You agree to meet for coffee, but cancel when the baby doesn’t nap. You join the mom’s group, but let the text thread languish. You wait for someone else to plan the park playdate or suggest dinner. You tell yourself you’re “just busy,” but deep down, you suspect that your lack of initiative has a cost.
And it does. The paradox is that making friends as an adult requires more vulnerability, not less. You have to be willing to risk a little embarrassment. You have to send the text, plan the walk, and host the game night even when you worry no one will come. You have to resist the urge to flake out when your energy wanes because reliability—not shared hobbies or perfect chemistry—is what slowly cements new friendships.
This isn’t about performing friendliness to climb some invisible social ladder. It’s about practicing the habits of connection over and over until they stick. In her book Platonic, psychologist Marisa G. Franco argues that friendship isn’t something you “find.” It’s something you build. And building takes persistence.
Yes, sometimes your efforts will flop. You’ll invite someone for coffee, and they’ll reschedule twice before ghosting you entirely. You’ll join a neighborhood group and discover that the people there aren’t your tribe. The easy thing would be to withdraw, to tell yourself you’re better off alone. But here’s the hard truth: friendship is forged in repetition.
Think of the people you consider “real friends.” How many invitations, conversations, and shared moments did it take before you got there? Probably dozens. Maybe hundreds. And yet, when it comes to making new friends, we expect instant intimacy—or we give up.
This is where millennial culture hasn’t served us well. We came of age believing in curated best friendships, in the soulmate-level connection you see in sitcoms and social feeds. But real friendship is messier and slower. It’s less about mimosas and more about showing up to help someone move a couch or watching their kid so they can shower in peace.
To be clear, loneliness isn’t a moral failure. It’s an emotional signal—a cue to reach out and reconnect. But if you keep finding yourself on the margins, if you keep scrolling through photos of other people’s gatherings and wondering why you weren’t invited, maybe it’s time to ask: Am I putting in the effort I expect others to put in with me? That important “C” word? Commitment.
Local events and activities to help facilitate friendship
• One such group is the North Georgia Hellenics, an adult women’s sorority designed to foster meaningful friendships, community service, and cultural connection in the North Georgia region. The group welcomes women from all walks of life who are looking for more than surface-level interactions—here, you’ll find shared experiences, regular meetups, and a network of support. To stay connected and coordinate events, members use a dedicated GroupMe chat, making it easy to engage and participate no matter your schedule.
At their last meeting, members gathered at 1442 Craft Cocktails & Cafe in downtown Clarkesville over espresso martinis and Diet Cokes, played trivia, and chatted late into the evening. It’s a networking group without the boring speeches or heavy dues—focused instead on companionship and genuine connection.
Interested in joining? Email [email protected] and follow The Cute North Georgian Magazine via Facebook & Instagram for updates.
• Another helpful resource is the Habersham Moms Facebook group, an active online community where local mothers come together to share advice, swap recommendations, and plan real-life meetups. Moms post about everything from trusted pediatricians and school insights to organizing impromptu park playdates or coffee meetups. It’s a space for asking questions, finding support, and connecting with other moms who understand the unique challenges and joys of raising kids in the Habersham area.
Interested in joining? Follow this link, HERE.
• You can also check out Mommy and Me of Northeast Georgia, a group where moms and kids mix, mingle, play, and learn together throughout Habersham County. Each event is uniquely designed to engage children meaningfully while giving moms time to talk and build friendships. Founded by two educators—Allie Correa of Arrows Farms and Carly McCurry of The Cute North Georgian Magazine—this group creates thoughtful, enriching experiences for families looking to connect. At their last event, hosted at Arrows Farms, children painted pots with flower petals and planted plants, played in the field, relaxed on hammocks and swings, explored the garden, and picked flowers. Meanwhile, moms chatted, exchanged phone numbers, and added each other on social media, building connections as their children played.
Their next event will take place at Mr. Biscuits Café in Clarkesville, where children will create cards and letters for deployed soldiers as part of Operation Gratitude. Kids will enjoy crafts and games while moms sip coffee and connect. Tickets for the event help fund the activities and provide supplies—$10 for one child and $15 for families with siblings. Moms are always included in the ticket and receive a free biscuit as part of the experience.
• Another group worth mentioning is Young Adults of North Georgia, founded and run by Briana Webb. This is an active social page designed for millennials and young adults in the region who are looking to build community, find new friendships, and enjoy casual connections. The group hosts occasional meetups. The Facebook page stays lively with posts, suggestions for gatherings, and ways to connect between events, making it a great starting point for anyone seeking community. The link to this group is HERE.
Build your village
Start small. Say yes to the invitation even when you’re tired. Plan the coffee instead of waiting for someone else to suggest it. Send the follow-up text even if they didn’t respond last time. You might have to try with five people before one sticks. Try anyway.
Because there’s a good chance the woman you’re watching on Instagram, laughing over wine with her “village,” has also felt on the outside. Maybe she tried. Maybe she kept showing up. Maybe that’s why she’s there now.
So, if you find yourself folding laundry at 11 p.m., wondering why you’re not part of the group chat, don’t wait for a fairy godmother to deliver you the brunch crew of your dreams. Be the one who sends the first message. Be the one who doesn’t flake. Be the one who keeps trying.
The village isn’t going to build itself.
