Shadow was surrendered to us in February. His owner no longer had time for his 8-year-old, unaltered, unvaccinated, heartworm positive “yard dog.”
Shadow had cataracts,wasn’t well socialized, didn’t get along with other dogs, wanted to eat cats, and barked ALL the time; but, he was OK in my book. He had deep, soulful eyes, LOVED to be brushed, and his favorite toy was a squeaky yellow football, although I’m sure his former family never took the time to learn that in his 8 years.
Today, after almost a year in our county run pound, I had to say good-bye to Shadow. Euthanasia never gets any easier, but some hit you harder than others. When I was walking him out of the kennels, Shadow put the breaks on. I stopped and knelt down to talk to him. I always tell them what’s about to happen, and that I’m sorry and I love them. He knew spending his life in a kennel was slowly sucking the life out of him. He knew that even though I had him on Heartguard for the worms in his heart that they were slowly killing him. He knew nobody was coming for him. Some dogs know. Shadow knew. And he accepted it better than I did.
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When I knelt down on the kennel floor, Shadow put his arms around my neck while I cried into his fur. He gave me kisses, and wagged his tail for the first time in weeks, letting me know it was OK. I sat with him until he passed to the rainbow bridge, collapsing in my arms. A little part of me dies inside every time I am the one to gently insert that needle into their veins. I feel like I failed them. Their families failed them. We failed them.
So, the next time you click “share” on a post about what POS’s shelter workers are, or comment on a pet in need with some “OMG! DON’T MURDER HIM YOU KILLER!”, or throw away your dog like trash, or perhaps when you buy that new puppy from a backyard breeder, remember Shadow and how I spent my afternoon. Nobody wants this job. Nobody wants to do this. But, they need someone while they are here with us – and being that someone is something I feel I need to do. I live for the day that I am no longer needed, for the day that at there isn’t a need for a shelter, the day that no more lives are lost.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Madi Hawkins is the Director of Habersham County Animal Control. She posted this to the shelter’s Facebook page on Nov. 4, 2015. It is reposted here with her permission. If you would like to help Madi in her mission to care for the lost and unloved animals of Habersham County, please contact the shelter to volunteer at 706-754-3533. For more information on animals needing homes, visit the Habersham Shelter Kids Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/HabershamShelterUrgentFurkids/
The shelter is located at 4231B Toccoa Highway, Clarkesville, GA 30523.
