Two days ago I was elated. I had burst through the plateau weight I’d been stuck on for quite some time. The motivation flowed. Finally, I’m going to lose more weight and not the same weight, over and over again. Finally, I’m going to get where I want to be. Bring on the warm lemon water and raw veggies. I’m fully in! I can do this…
And then those unexpected annoyances happened. You know, the really bad day at work; car issues; problems with this; problems with that. It was like a monsoon of obstacles flowed in on the day I just knew I’d be the strongest. The stabs of insecurities from past hurts – the tight schedule – the missed meeting – and the homemade muffins with blackberry jam in the break room. Really? As if food ever made anyone truly feel better; yet, that little voice inside our heads tells us it does.
I call it my inner lawyer, which routinely appears when I need to negotiate “justice” with myself.
This so called “justice” is the same voice I hear when I know I need to forgive someone but my little inside lawyer is telling me all the reasons I need to hold on to that grudge. Its that pounding in my head which decides someone is not worthy of my time, and the same annoyance which wants to make everything in life about me. Doubt, discouragement, fear, anxiety come from its filing cabinet and flood my mind with all that is negative in my life.
And while we’d like to hold on to the idea that food or anger or alcohol or cigarettes or shopping or whatever can right a wrong, cushion an emotional day, or fill our lonely, empty tanks, they can’t.
I’m learning the answers are always found in Him. It takes a moment to stop and consider why those voices in our heads make us do the things we do; but once we stop and consider them, we realize they are as unreal as the monsters under our bed.
When my kids were little, I made them a bottle of monster spray using water, food coloring, and lavender oil for a pleasant scent. Before bedtime we would spray the room and under the bed. Any time during the night, if they became afraid, they only needed to grab the bottle and spray away any scary creature that might pop up in the dark. Maybe I need to take the concept to a higher level and blast myself in the face any time those voices interrupt my day.
Romans 8:31 tells us, “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
No matter what your triggers in life are, know there is a God who understands our frailties and loves us anyway. Fill your head with pleasant thoughts. Understand who God is in your life.
1 John 4:4, “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
