Proverbs 9:8-9 reads, “Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”
I like studying Proverbs, little nuggets of advice all packed together. This verse in particular caught my attention because I received an email of criticism. It wasn’t the first time. Lesson 101 of a journalist is to don one’s attire with thick skin. The very nature of expressing one’s self will eventually lead to comments – good and bad. Isn’t it often said, “Opinions are like bellybuttons – everyone has one?”
But, I’ve learned to listen.
A wise person is approachable and open to hear his or her faults and attributes. Who doesn’t want to be wise? And so I read her email filled with criticism. No one ever became wise without listening.
Criticism comes with filters. When someone wants to tell you something you are doing wrong, be aware of the view from which the person sees you. For example, a non-Christian can’t understand the depth with which Christian’s love Jesus Christ. As humans we want to label people because we do not know where they’ve been. There is much wisdom in “walking a mile in another’s shoes” because by walking in “his” shoes we see experiences from “his” perspective. For me it is difficult to even grasp a non-Christian view because I’ve never been without Christ in my life; however, I can see it from another’s perspective.
Wisdom comes when we openly accept what others think of us. While difficult to swallow, it must be digested. There are those who do not agree with the way you or I act and think and dress and talk. Today’s society likes to cast the stone of judgment, when the very criticism that someone else is judging another is judgment in and of itself. While Christians are called to love everyone, it doesn’t mean we have to agree with the actions, attitudes, or lifestyles they have chosen.
There are times God allows our hearts to be broken so His light can get through. Pain is not necessarily a negative but often an instrument of mercy. Pain gives us understanding of what others are experiencing. Pain allows us to walk a mile in another’s shoes. Criticism can be used in the same manner.
The next time someone points out something he/she sees as a fault in you, take the time to consider what he/she is saying. I highlight his or her sentence in my mind, diagram its parts, and look at the source from where it comes. I then ask God to give me the wisdom to understand whether what has been said is worthy of my consideration.
We grow and change by our relationships with others. If there is validity in the statement made against me, I thank the person. If there is not, I toss it, smile, and move on; wiser for having listened.
