Its a four letter word that delivers a punch, from my playground days to less than an hour ago, it seems to worm its way into my life and probably yours. I stood in line at Wal-Mart trying to decide if I wanted to purchase a t’shirt which read the words, “Mean people stink…” Only, it didn’t say, “stink” but another word which I don’t like to use. I spontaneously blurted from my lips, “You got that right” to no one. The shirt seemed a perfect fit for someone who had hurt me.
Mean people – can’t live with them – and actually, could live without them – only they are here to stay.
All of us have the potential to be mean. I used to tell my children there are two people within us – an angel and an opponent. When we respond in a favorable way, our angels become strong; when we respond in a cruel way, our opponents become strong. Feed the angels!
Meanness comes from a Narcissistic belief that our desires or wishes are more important than another’s. It comes when we attempt to make another person feel worse than we do. Meanness rears its ugly head when we think what we are experiencing is more important than what anyone else is going through.
My grandmother taught me when someone is being mean to me, imagine them as a one inch tall person standing in my hand yelling in a high pitched voice. Somehow that gut wrenching pain isn’t as prominent when I visualize simply closing my hand and squishing the life out of them like a bug – if I wanted to, of course.
Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (ESV).
My mom used to attempt to stop sibling disputes with the words, “Sticks and stones…sticks and stones…get along, please.” I’m not sure who wrote that little jewel of a phrase but they had no clue what they were talking about. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” There are times in my life when my inner attorney rises up and even Perry Mason couldn’t defeat me; but winning isn’t really the answer and doesn’t necessarily solve the meaning behind mean.
Colossians 3:17 reminds me, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (NIV).
In everything I do and say, I want to represent Christ, who I serve and adore. If I react in anger, I give in to the enemy of my soul, spreading his darkness. If I react with humility, I honor my Savior, spreading His light. And isn’t that what we are called to do?
My husband reminded me, as I pondered a course of action against the meaning behind mean people, “Blessings come when we choose to let God handle meanness and we handle ourselves.” It’s tough when we have to live in the middle of feeling hurt and betrayed; but, it can’t be as difficult as living inside a heart that hurts others. My purpose is not to attempt to fix this person, and while buying the t’shirt might help me, it isn’t going to make them see my side of things. What I have to do is to obey God by continuing to offer an extension of the forgiveness I’ve been given by Christ. That forgiveness doesn’t mean giving this person access in my life to hurt me further, but allows me the freedom to move beyond them.
James 1:19-20, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”(NIV).
I want the righteousness.
I decided to put the t’shirt back. It really wasn’t my best color anyway.
