Ahhhh…the Fairy-tale wedding, where star crossed lovers unite, and the evil villains who kept them apart – lose. Blame it on Disney who created every woman’s fantasy – to drop the glass slipper which only fits on one foot – preferably mine. I admit, I picked the longest line to check-out at Ingles a few months ago so I could read every detail of Amal Alamuddin’s marriage to George Clooney, right down to the shoes she wore and the color lip stick she chose. And who could resist pictures of Clooney in a tux?
What is it about weddings that incites such emotions -good and bad? From invitations to seating charts, Disney’s scenario weddings never introduced such issues.
Famous fashion designer Oscar de la Renta cleverly declared about the wedding gown, “it is the most important dress in the life of a woman.” Of course, he makes his living (a very good one at that) selling just this idea. The average wedding costs around $26,000.00. For some of us, that’s a year’s salary. In the year 2015, when 3 women sit on the Supreme Court, 6 are governors of states, and 20 serve in the 114th Congress, I would think there are more important attire in the life of a woman. And for those of us who have worn more than one wedding gown in our life time, his statement seems even more off base. In his defense, if I designed wedding gowns at those prices, I might make the same appeal.
We seem to put a great deal of emphasis on the wedding as if it is the most important part of the marriage. Realistically, if that were the case, the first day of Kindergarten should signify the most valuable moment of the educational career, when in actuality it is only one part of a long journey to success. I once heard someone say, the wedding is such a big deal because it masks what’s up ahead.
The season is here and weddings are abound. Here are a few tips to help make your day what it ought to be – fun!
1. Don’t get lost in the fantasy.
Ariel and Cinderella are the only Disney princesses we actually see get married. And it is only a glimpse, nothing about planning or flowers, bridesmaids or showers, napkins or food selection. Even Disney princesses have stress. Regardless of how many times you think it, it still will not be a perfect day; but what it will be is the start of many memories you and your spouse will share together with your family and friends. Weddings are simply beginnings. They are not the grand finale. Remember as you walk down the aisle, this is where it all begins.
2. Chaos will occur.
The napkins may arrive in pale mauve and not the promised peach color you ordered to match the peonies. The ice sculptured dolphin may melt and the greenery may catch on fire during the ceremony from the dripping waxed candles. The rains may come, and Uncle Arnold may fall into the lamb hors d’oeuvres flown in from Morocco. Your Minister may get laryngitis. a guest may step on your wedding dress train and rip the hem, or the flower girl may pick her nose through the entire ceremony. No matter what, it is still your wedding day, and you’ll still be just as married whether it goes according to plan or not.
3. Remember the guests are your fans.
The truth of the matter is, you could serve pigs in a blanket with Mountain Dew, and everyone there would be just as happy to see the two of you married. Weddings are a celebration of the beginning of a long future of messy times, funny times, sad times, exciting times, and nothingness times. And true fans are for the team through the hot games, rainy games, losing games, and winning games. Fans are believers in you.
4. Don’t let the “bridal fog” steal your memory.
It happens. The day becomes a blur. All the preparation, all the stress, all the agonizing details, in one full swoosh – gone. “Amnesia at its best.” Stop and enjoy the details you worked so hard to put into place. Stop and smell the roses – you certainly paid for them! Stop and look at the people who surround you. It is the beginning of your lifetime together. Choose to remember it.
5. Prepare yourself for the moment in the closet.
Tears will come. Maybe after the Honeymoon. Maybe a month or two after all the thank you notes have been written, and tacos are on the menu for dinner. It’s not that you regret marrying your favorite guy; or that you wish you weren’t in the day-to-day grind of life. It’s simply that all the preparation, the planning, the choosing, the comments, the strife, the laughter, the get-together’s, the attention, is over. There are bathrooms to clean, bills to pay, a dog to walk, closets to organize, and plumbing to unclog – something Ariel and Cinderella never discussed but ultimately had to face.
To all of the brides and grooms getting ready to walk down the aisle and say “I do,” take a deep breath, look into the eyes of the one you love, and know, there is no other place you’d rather be than beside him or her – “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until death do us part.”
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