Do you remember the busy blankets for older babies? The colorful, squeaky, crinkly, tactile, inviting blankets that babies enjoy as they are learning to scoot around and crawl? As a young mother I was so grateful for busy blankets. They would allow me to enjoy a few minutes with free arms and an entertained baby. For toddlers there are soft toys on which they can practice zipping zippers or buttoning buttons or tying laces.
Did you know there was something similar for adults with dementia? They remind me of the baby busy blankets and soft toys for the beginning of learning. There are beautiful aprons and lap blankets that are available for purchase on Etsy and other handcrafting sites. Sometimes called fidgit blankets or pillows, they are also used with brain trauma or brain development issues.
I first discovered the need for them a few years ago. Mom’s friend was in the hospital. I dropped by and her granddaughter, a friend of mine, was there. For our story, let’s call the granddaughter, Jo. Jo’s grandmother, MeeMaw, was so agitated when I came in. She wanted to take the pillowcases off all the pillows and wad them up. Jo was frantic, trying to calm her down and holding on to her hands. It was making MeeMaw even more frustrated. I convinced Jo to start a chain – MeeMaw taking the pillowcase off, I’d take it from her and put it back on, then Jo would hand her another one. After three or four rotations, MeeMaw settled into the routine and calmed down. For a while, she even came back to us, knowing Jo and maybe recognizing me. After 10 or 12 round robins, she settled into a calm sleep.
I went home that night and started looking for something to help MeeMaw. I had seen this end of life restlessness too often, but this is the first time I had seen a friend trying to cope. Jo and so many others of us just don’t know what to do with the out-of-one’s-mind agitation and delirium. I didn’t find anything before MeeMaw passed away, but I’ve been looking ever since.
There are so many ways to set up a pillow or blanket. They are expensive to buy so I wondered if we could come up with something for Mom that we could make. I found an old apron and some trinkets that would have meaning to Mom: her OCS nametag, two silk corsages, a long strand of pearls, a heart key chain, some shiny buttons, and a butterfly pin. Jean, one of our precious caregivers, spent the morning sewing everything securely on.
Mom loves it. She spends hours looking at it and playing with it. She folds and refolds the ribbon from the corsages. She reads and rereads her nametag, saying her name over and over. She takes the apron strings and rolls them up like a snail. She thinks it’s just beautiful. I tell her that Jean made it for her and she wants me to tell Jean “thank you” the next time I see her. She is so absorbed into her task that she’s using her right hand without remembering that her arm is still broken. Surprisingly, it has become physical therapy as well as mental therapy. It really does keep her busy.
It’s been such a hit that I think we’ll make her another this week!
