You see it…just like me.
Every time we open up our Facebook and view the wonderful, picture perfect lives of our “friends.”
As I scroll through status after status of fun-filled weekends, vacations, family adventures, my heart sinks a bit further down in my chest.
Recently, one of my favorite childhood friend’s family photo popped up. It made me smile. Her life seemed so put together. How did she do it? Everyone gets along. She and her husband are preparing for the marriage of their daughter. They are a blended family. It was an engagement party. The photos portrayed all the family – all the children – the grandparents – smiling, unified, and happy.
Really? While I rejoiced with her, I felt a tinge of jealousy and then sadness. My life wasn’t like that at all.
I sent her a quick congratulatory text to which she responded, “You got a second to chat?”
Shortly thereafter the phone buzzed, and she began to tell me all the hardship and struggles. His daughter despised her. Minutes after the picture her son got into a shouting match with his step-sister’s fiance. The ex-wife’s husband got excessively drunk and got a bit flirty with her which caused major discourse. And despite her heart pouring out all over me, I started to laugh.
Her sniffles stopped as she questioned me, “Are you alright?”
“I am. I was just crying over how perfect your life was, and how I wished I had it all together like you. Unfortunately, you’re as messed up as I am!” I confessed.
We both laughed for what seemed a long time. Silence fell over the conversation awkwardly before she responded, “Every time I look at your Facebook I feel the same way about you. You have the perfect life, and mine is not.”
Life always looks better when someone else is wearing it until we really listen to one another.
We spent the next few hours talking about what life is really like, and what we are trying to do to make a positive impact on our children and families.
The Facebook Deception…it leaves us all wondering if we measure up. The reality is, we all have issues and problems.
When my children were little, I took them to have Christmas pictures made, something I did every year. Their angelic faces in the final print of the postcard did not in any way express the pure agony I had encountered in getting the picture taken. Collier (11), my oldest daughter, had been angry by the dress I had chosen for her to wear. Hart, my 4-year-old daughter’s shoes were too tight and pinching her feet. Ben (9) didn’t want to take a picture period, and Bo (10) was supposed to be at his friend’s house but instead had to have a family picture session. Will (3) couldn’t sit still and Dory (2) needed a diaper change and messed up her outfit. But the words across the Christmas Card read, “Let There Be Peace On Earth.”
Right…
Life is messy. It’s complicated. It causes pain at times and unbelievable joy at other times. It is a nail biting, knuckle whitening, belly laughing, roller coaster ride.
My cousin Allison wrote on her status one day that she had spent the morning in Target with her son screaming the entire time. Her nerves were shot. Motherhood was extremely hard. She felt like such a failure.
Many well-meaning people offered her suggestions as to what she should’ve done, or could’ve done, or can do next time. But the reality is, she was just being REAL. I think the rest of us could use a dose or two of it as well. When we let down the masks, we help others see that even in our imperfections, we are still loved and useful to God.
I remember a song from high school. It was one of those that gave me courage and rejuvenated me when I felt discouraged. It was written by Barry Manilow. The chorus professed, “I made it through the rain, and found myself respected by the others who got rained on too, and made it through…”
Unto every life a little rain must fall, but oh, the rainbows that follow!
