I might end up in jail or drown in the Washington swamp, but as a mother, I am ready to advocate for civility, politeness, and kindness. I often wonder where the rest of us are—those who have spent hours delivering babies and guiding toddlers. Where are the parents who insisted on respect or ‘else’? Where are the friends who stood up for their buddies when a bully attacked or used hurtful words?
It’s high time we hold the tormentors accountable for their poor behavior, and that applies to adults as well as those under 18.
The United States is currently grappling with several significant challenges, including immigration, budgetary issues, divisiveness, ongoing conflicts, and extreme weather conditions. However, one problem that demands our immediate attention is the behavioral crisis. While some of these problems are complex and may take time to resolve, we can certainly start by improving our conduct.
When I was young, if I didn’t respect my parents, peers, elders, or teachers, I was in more trouble than a wiggling worm on a hook. I knew better than to be disrespectful because the wrath I would receive at home was not worth it. To lose toys, privileges, allowances, and freedom was not my idea of fun.
Let me assure you, I got in more trouble than one can imagine because of my mouth. That girl, Sassy, could jump into my brain and take over my language, and when she did, I was soon to be toast. To this day, if I am infuriated enough, old Sassy comes roaring back. And even though Mom and Dad are in heaven, God still hangs around to drop me in the toaster.
Our President and other leaders seem to have forgotten that a lack of decorum and regard for others can lead to serious consequences. Words spoken or written publicly, such as “you’re no good,” “stupid,” “sorry,” “dumb,” “low-life,” “fat,” “ugly,” or “disgusting,” are just a few examples of the derogatory language used in the political arena to describe individuals caught in the crossfire of partisan politics.
Americans may support the policies and actions of their preferred leaders or parties, but to applaud and accept taunting, ridiculing, and mocking in public discourse is akin to disrespecting the very person who raised them. No matter how devoted we are to someone, we should not justify bad conduct.
Of course, our President is not the only leader who uses demeaning language and vitriol, but he currently holds the highest position of power. Don’t we believe that the culture in any organization starts at the top?
A great CEO creates a positive and energetic environment within the company. This type of leadership promotes increased productivity and makes employees feel valued for their contributions to the organization’s success. The CEO’s honorable actions set a standard for management and are reflected in the behavior of all employees.
Our leaders can make policies and decisions without resorting to intimidation or insults; there is simply no need for that approach.
We have become a society that tends to “look the other way.” Those who govern can do so without resorting to scathing and defaming language. Most Americans would welcome a return to greater civility and less rudeness.
If we believe that unkindness and a lack of consideration do not trickle down from leaders in our society into the minds of our children, we are being willfully blind. By ignoring this reality, we create a contradiction. How can we teach our children to show respect when we celebrate the actions of those in positions of power that are disrespectful?
We must not become cruel, as that will only diminish our potential. We shouldn’t mock or belittle others; it reflects poorly on our character. When we accept incivility in one another, we harm everyone.
When I would say something derogatory or mean-spirited, my mother would ask, “Now, honey, do you think Jesus would say such a thing? Do you believe the Lord is proud of you?” Honestly, there isn’t a God-fearing soul that could answer that one with a big resounding “Yes!”
As a mother who raised her children to act with integrity, I am appalled that many today appear to accept insulting behavior in adults as if it were normal. Phrases like “Oh, that’s just the way it is,” or “Look at the good things they do,” seem to excuse bullying and sound dismissive.
It’s like saying, “Hey, Mom, I called the teacher ‘stupid’ today, but it’s okay because I got an A+ on my report!” Uh-oh, back to the corner writing the word ‘stupid’ over and over again.
The more hateful the words, the more we will hate. The more we forgive hate, the less we will be forgiven. How much character are we willing to lose to win?
What would Jesus say?
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Lynn Walker Gendusa is a Tennessee-raised, Georgia-residing author and columnist. Her latest book is “Southern Comfort: Stories of Family, Friendship, Fiery Trials, and Faith.” She can be reached at www.lynngendusa.com. For more of her inspirational stories, click here.
