The three R’s I’m referring to are not Reading, wRiting, or aRithmetic, nor are they Reduce, Reuse, or Recycle. Most of us have encountered Resentment, Rage, and Revenge at some point in our lives. The question is: do we choose to hold on to them or let them go? It can be challenging to release feelings that we feel entitled to. It’s often difficult to “get over” the hurt that someone has caused us or the damage that life can inflict.
However, if we become attached to the three R’s, we will continue to experience pain and suffering. I have known a few who clung to their resentment for so long that it became detrimental to their well-being.
I learned many years ago, albeit the hard way, that resentment, rage, and revenge are ways of keeping oneself miserable. Blaming others and seeking retribution only fuel the fire that turns joy into smoke. Since misery loves company, I believe that evil must be lonely.
I only have one suggestion that works for ridding ourselves of any of the three R’s: give them away. It’s so simple, it’s ridiculous, but the trick is to believe it works.
Many years ago, I was consumed by self-pity. I felt depressed, angry, and, for the first time, I wanted retribution. I didn’t like those feelings. I had been hurt many times before, but I had never wished to bring revenge on anyone. I was raised to forgive others, but all the pain I had endured began to take a toll on me. I couldn’t sleep, and I struggled to think clearly.
The Chattahoochee River flowed over huge rocks and deep crevices near my home.
It was a cloudy, cool day that mirrored my stormy spirit as I took a walk along its banks. I watched as the water surged over the boulders and rushed downstream.
I began to pick up pebbles and throw them into the waves, watching them disappear. Then I grabbed a large rock and said aloud, “God, you said revenge is yours. Please take this heavy weight of torment away from me. Wash away the revenge, resentment, and rage, because, Lord, I’m tired.”
I threw the stone as far as I could into the river, as if it contained all my despair. The moment it hit the water and started to drift downstream, all the burdens that began with the letter “R” vanished.
Having said many prayers in my life, I have never experienced one answered so quickly. I discovered with absolute certainty that the only way to rid oneself of a negative “R” is to give it to the only one capable of tossing it into the river.
Forgiveness is a big word. It is not a word one can just casually say; truly forgiving someone requires effort and prayer. While God can forgive us instantly when we ask, we often hold on to our distress instead. How frequently do we encounter individuals who have become isolated and alone due to the deep pain of losing a loved one? Do we often blame others for the suffering we have endured? Are there many who hold God accountable for our sorrow?.
How many of us are not so smart?
In the old days, my Tennessee relatives would describe an “R” person as “sour”
“Mama, why is that lady so mean?” I asked about a neighbor.
“Honey, she’s not mean, she’s just sour.”
It took a while before I could understand that the neighbor just saw the world through a fog of bitterness. Negativity, sourness, complaining, grumpiness, and unhappiness are rooted in the three R’s.
We may experience hurt, wrath, and sorrow, but ultimately, we must learn to let go of these feelings to embrace the light of the sun and the joy of each new day. The three R’s—revenge, resentment, and rage—should not dominate our lives, preventing us from seeing the world clearly or instilling fear of what tomorrow may bring.
The one thing I recall when I was consumed with the R’s was to constantly sing this refrain, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” If God loves me, then He does not want me to be unhappy. If you love your children, do you not wish them joy?
If any of you are currently dealing with one of the three R’s, remember that there is a place where you can let go of those burdens. Imagine throwing them in the water and watching as God washes them away.
He’s powerful enough to do it, and it can be that simple.
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Lynn Walker Gendusa is a Tennessee-raised, Georgia-residing author and columnist. Her latest book is “Southern Comfort: Stories of Family, Friendship, Fiery Trials, and Faith.” She can be reached at www.lynngendusa.com. For more of her inspirational stories, click here.
