I’m struggling with trust these days. I want Mom to trust me to take care of her, but her “wait a minute…wait a minute…wait a minute” shows her doubt. Even as I encourage her by telling her, “I’ve got you, Mom” or “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” I hear myself on the other end of that conversation with God. He really does have me, but I doubt him constantly. Where is my trust?
On January 15, 2018, one of the emails I received was about trust. I copied it to my computer and have read and re-read it these past three weeks. It’s from Encouragement Café by Lara Sadowski. She says,
“I’ve been a Christian most of my life. But, sometimes, I have trouble trusting God. Can anyone else relate? … I have been angry at God. Why won’t You provide for me? What’s taking You so long? Maybe You need my help? (That one is my favorite.) These questions are but a few I have leveled at God lately.”
Wow! Can I relate? I feel like that’s the cry of my heart many days.
Even on the days I do feel like I can trust Him, I struggle with the people He’s put in my life. Some days the friend/family member/spouse is the ONLY person I can trust in the world; other days I feel like I cannot trust even that person. I feel alone.
Then there are the days when I feel untrustworthy myself. I’m tired. Bone-weary tired. I feel I’m not fulfilling God’s calling on my life. However, like Lara Sadowski, this scripture is ringing in my consciousness:
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
And whose trust is the Lord.
For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit.” –Jeremiah 17:7-8 NASB
The prophet Jeremiah doesn’t say anything about our feelings. Instead he says, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord” (emphasis mine). There’s where I get off-track. I relate too much to how I’m feeling about situations or people and it influences how I perceive a given situation. My feelings can quickly undermine my trust in God’s promises.
God doesn’t change based on my feelings. He is there even when I feel He’s not paying attention or moving fast enough. I would never let Mom falter – even if she feels like I’m not paying attention or moving too fast (in her estimation.) I get frustrated when she doesn’t trust me, so I can only imagine how frustrated God must be with me! How I feel is not a good measure of His trustworthiness.
My trust is in the Lord. He is worthy of my trust.