Just Friends is a romantic comedy from 2005 starring Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris. In one of the scenes Anna Faris’ character, an aspiring Hollywood musician, is playing a “show” at a local coffee house. She sings a handful of songs to a booing crowd including her new single, “Forgiveness.” As the song goes, “Forgiveness is more than saying sorry.” Truthfully, I can’t tell you if she keeps singing or if the crowd eventually gets to her, but this line has always stuck with me. Her statement is true: Forgiveness is more than just an apology. Forgiveness is an attitude of the heart.
In Matthew 18 starting in verse 21 Jesus shares the parable of the unmerciful servant. In the parable, we see a servant who owes his master a very large debt. His debt is so large that it would be impossible to pay it back. The master has mercy on the servant, releasing him from his debt and sending him on his way. As he is leaving, the servant meets a fellow servant on the road. The fellow servant owes the servant a debt as well, but his debt is much smaller. The servant is angry with his fellow servant for not paying him his money back, and he has him thrown in jail. When word reaches the master, he is angered, disappointed, and he calls for the servant to be thrown in jail until he can repay the original, very large debt he owes the master.
The Bible is quick to point out in this passage and in others that we should freely offer grace, mercy, and forgiveness as we have been offered. Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice for us when he gave his life on the cross. He forgave our sins and released us from a debt that we would never be able to repay. We are no better than the unmerciful servant when we do not also offer forgiveness to our neighbor.
Finding freedom through forgiveness
It is easy to say that forgiveness is necessary. The hard part is actually extending forgiveness. As I said, forgiveness is an attitude of the heart. When anger or bitterness stays in our hearts, they fester. According to the definition, fester actually refers to an infected wound, or something that has become rotten, spoiled, or moldy. When we sincerely offer forgiveness, we release that bitterness or anger before it has a chance to infect our hearts. There is an intentional choice involved in offering forgiveness. There is also recognition of the Lord’s role as judge. Our culture says that we ought to seek revenge on people who hurt us. The Lord says that we should let Him be the judge. We are not called to take action, rather to trust that the Lord will judge accordingly in His time.
Forgiveness is never intended to lessen someone’s actions or take away from pain that they caused you or someone you love. Forgiveness is an avenue to freedom, recognition of God as judge, and an alternative to a festering heart. Maybe you are thinking about someone in your life who hurt you. There is no better time than now to choose forgiveness. Even if you have carried your bitterness for a long time and you think your heart is too far gone, it’s not. Freely give as you have been freely given; choose forgiveness and let the Lord restore and repair your infected heart.
